“LIFE SHRINKS OR EXPANDS IN PROPORTION TO ONE’S COURAGE”
– Anais Nin
There are times that I feel like I have made decisions that are not in hindsight the best. Have you ever felt this way? The above quote is attributed to the Author Anais Nin. She was famous for her diaries or journals that span almost 60 years. Supposedly she started keeping a diary at the age of 11 and continued to write until shortly before her death when she was in her 70s. Amazing. Talk about the “examined life.” If you have developed the habit of keeping a journal or diary and have done this for a length of time, greater than a year or longer, I think you probably understand to some degree the quote attributed to Socrates. “The unexamined life is not worth living.” My guess is that after writing a journal for so long Nin understood this concept well. And at some point came to the conclusion that we make our decisions or we see life not as it really is, but who we are at that moment, what we are feeling, whether we have had an argument with our significant other, if someone cut us off in traffic, were mean to us at work, etc…. All our preconceived notions and emotions at that time, in that moment, determine the decisions that we make – good or bad.
Thinking about this, I have to wonder when in the moment of making a decision which would affect my life in a big way, where was I mentally? What was going on at the time in my life? And then to take this another step further I have to wonder when decisions were made for me or I was given advice, that in hindsight might not have been the best advice, where was that person mentally. What was going on in their life? Is it a wonder that any of us really end up doing the “right” thing so to speak. Maybe this is where part of the idea of “forgiveness” comes from. There are those of us that can and do egregious and appalling acts in their lives, but does that mean they should never be forgiven. Taken to the extreme, is life in prison more compassionate as opposed to the death penalty? Should there even be a death penalty? How can any of us truly be held fully and I mean fully accountable for our actions? When all of our actions are really dependent on our state of mind at the time that we committed the crime or error in judgement. We have all experienced temporary insanity at some point in our lives. It is another thing that makes us human.
Moving on to other thoughts, this was the last week of training for the Quad Rock. And I have to think about the above quote by Nin. I am hopeful that I will be able to do the 50 miles next Saturday. But I have to ask myself if I am truly ready to do that distance. Am I seeing my training and physical conditioning as it really is, or is it just wishful thinking? It is still early for me in what I call the running season. So it will be interesting to see how well I do on the course next weekend.
The above pictures are all from this past week. We had the usually sun in the AM and rain in the afternoon. The first picture is from Horsetooth Lake on Monday the 27th. It is looking South West from one of the damns. As you can see the lake is already full this year with spring runoff from the mountains. The second picture is from the Cathy Fromme Prairie Natural Area in Fort Collins. This was looking west towards the Foothills behind the city. This picture was taken on Tuesday. What a difference a day makes. Cool and rainy on Monday, dry and sunny on Tuesday. The bottom picture was taken in the Pineridge Open space behind Fort Collins. I have posted pictures from this area before but usually from one of the ridges. The picture was taken Thursday just before a small thunderstorm rolled through.
Now, after writing this blog for a few months I am reminded of how fortunate I am to live in Fort Collins with all the Open Space and Natural areas and interconnected trail system. You could not ask for a better place to work out. Well that is about it for me this week – wish me luck at the Quad Rock and that the weather holds. Last year towards the end of the 50 mile race a late spring snow storm rolled in and caused a few issues. Crazy. See you out there!!