“The fear of letting go prevents you from letting go of the fear of letting go.” – John Burdett (Novelist)

 

Well it has been another good week!! Finished working a stretch of four-night shifts and I have come to the conclusion that they really mess with your system.  Not sure why it took me that long to get it through my head that it really does muddle with your body’s clock.

Yep, screw with the body’s clock or circadian rhythms and you really do mess with everything else.  I used to pick up a lot of extra night shifts.  In fact, there was a time that I would work as many night shifts as physically possible to make extra money. These were 12 hours shifts.  The most that I did in a row was nine.  Nine night shifts, each 12 hours long.  Now that was the maximum but not the usual.  The usual was worse in some respects.  It consisted of about 5 to 6 per week with a day off so I would not get in trouble by management and then another 5 to 6.  Now I look back at that and think what the hell was I thinking??  And was it worth it in the cost it did to my body?  Probably not.  Oh well it did pay the bills.  Nice to have that extra cash.

But you come to a point that the extra cash does not really mean that much when it comes to your health.  So now, I still work the night shift but I don’t pick up any extra.  The problem I run into a lot is: “If you don’t have the money then you can’t buy it.”  Lol.  That is something that I still have trouble remembering.  But I am getting better at doing it.

I keep coming back to the above quote about letting go.  And I have come to the realization that there is much, much more meaning to it than just the statement of letting go.  Think about how many times you feel that you have to do something.  And ask yourself do you really have to do it today or tonight or even at all?  There are so many things that we do in our lives because of misconceptions of what success means, misconceptions about how to reach a goal (sometimes less is more), misconceptions about what people will think, misconceptions about what is necessary today and what has become nothing more than routine ritual.  Now don’t get me wrong… There are some situations that the answer will always be YES you have to do that now.  But I bet if you are like me, there would be a lot of situations in which the answer is no.  You don’t have to do it.  You can let it go.  Let the stress go, let that need for control go, let go of your attachment to being right, let the fear of loss go, etc.…

Let go and:  “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.” – Joseph Campbell

Now I would like to say that I have mastered the art of letting go but that would be way, way, way far from the truth.  But I am working at it.  And that in the end is all that we can do.

Looking west towards the foothills in Fort Collins on Thursday, the readings were in the moderate range and climbing.

Well that is about all for me this week.  The only “fly in the ointment” so to speak has been the smoke layer here on the Front Range.  The last two weeks the air quality has been in the moderate range with a few days being in the really unhealthy range.  This does put a damper on outdoor activity that involves running, biking, etc…  I guess it could always be worse, at least our homes are not threatened directly by wildfire.  So, have a good weekend and maybe if the smoke clears I will see you somewhere out there on the trails.