Category Archives: East Troublesome Fire

Air Quality, Art, Cameron Peak Fire, Colorado, Covid 19, Dogs, East Troublesome Fire, Exercise, Fort Collins, Pandemics, PurpleAir, Space, Wildfire

MUSINGS FOR FRIDAY 27th, NOVEMBER 2020

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“We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win.” John F. Kennedy

Expedition 1 – this is the official portrait of the first humans to live on the International Space Station. Pictured from left is cosmonaut Sergei K. Krikalev (flight engineer), astronaut Willian M. Shepherd (mission commander), and cosmonaut Yuri P. Gidzenko ( Soyuz commander). They boarded a Soyuz spacecraft on October 31st, 2000 and arrived on the ISS November 2. It has now been 20 years! What began as a competition between countries turned into fruitful cooperation. The United States, Russia, Canada, Japan, Italy, the European Space Agency and over 100 other countries have contributed to the research and science done aboard the ISS in the last 20 years with more than 3,000 research projects either completed or still in progress. Image credit: NASA. To learn more about the ISS and this picture please visit: https://www.nasa.gov/image-feature/celebrating-20-years-on-station-expedition-1 and https://phys.org/news/2020-11-international-space-station-template-future.html

“Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, Or what’s a heaven for?” Robert Browning

This is a picture of the asteroid Bennu ejecting particles from its surface. The photo was created by combining two images taken on board the OSIRIS-REx space craft. The pictures were taken on January 19, 2019. Back in October this was the asteroid that was the subject of a sample collection by said space craft. It is considered a very ancient asteroid, over a million and a half years old and is orbiting 200 million miles from earth. By contrast the sun is 93 million miles from earth. The OSIRIS-REx space craft will not be back to earth with the sample until September 2023. No telling what secrets will be unlocked when the sample analysis is completed. Image Credit: NASA/Goddard/University of Arizona/Lockheed Martin. To learn more about this picture and the asteroid Bennu please visit: https://www.nasa.gov/image-feature/touching-down-on-asteroid-bennu and https://phys.org/news/2020-10-craters-asteroid-bennu-orbiting-earth.html and https://phys.org/news/2020-10-nasa-delicate-stowing-osiris-rex-asteroid.html

The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn’t have a space program. And if we become extinct because we don’t have a space program, it’ll serve us right!” Larry Niven

This is an image of the galaxy cluster called HSC J023336-053022 (XL SSC 105) and it lies four billion light years from Earth. It was independently discovered by both ESA’s space-based XMM-Newton X-ray Observatory and JAOJ’S Subaru optical-infrared telescope in Hawaii. It is thought that the burst of color shows that it is acting as a cosmic furnace. Heating material to hundreds of millions of degrees Celsius. This is over 25 times hotter than the core of our sun. To learn more about this image please visit: https://www.esa.int/ESA_Multimedia/Images/2020/11/Cosmic_furnace_seen_by_XMM-Newton#.X68LKUK_kGA.link

“Why a journey into space? Because science is now learning that the infinite reaches of our universe probably teem with as much life and adventure as Earth’s own oceans and continents. Our galaxy alone is so incredibly vast that the most conservative mathematical odds still add up to millions of planets almost identical to our own – capable of life, even intelligence and strange new civilizations. Alien beings that will range from fiercely primitive to the incredibly exotic intelligence which will far surpass Mankind.” Gene Roddenberry (Sept. 1966)

This is a photo of the galaxy UGCA 193 taken by the Hubble Space Telescope. This galaxy is located in the constellation of Sextans (The Sextant). Some think that it looks like a waterfall because of the blue haze in the lower portion of the image – giving a sense that the stars are falling from above. The blue color of the stars indicate that they are hot, with some being more than 6 times that of our sun. Image Credit: ESA/Hubble & NASA, R. Tully; Acknowledgment: Gagandeep Anand. If you want to learn more about this picture please visit these sights: https://www.nasa.gov/image-feature/goddard/2020/hubble-catches-a-cosmic-cascade/ and https://www.spacetelescope.org/images/potw2044a/

“In other words, pretty much every star you see in the night sky hosts at least one planet. The next time you find yourself outside at night, take a moment to stop and consider the implications of this result as you gaze at all those pinpricks of light. Everyone of them hosts at least one world, and most stars will have more than one planet. Solar systems are the rule and not the exception. They’re everywhere.” Adam Frank

How cool is that!? NASA’s SpaceX Crew 1 headed to the ISS on Sunday, November 15th, 2020. It is the first crew rotation flight on the Crew Dragon capsule. From left are mission specialist Shannon Walker, pilot Victor Glover, and Crew Dragon commander Michael Hopkins, all NASA astronauts, and mission specialist Soichi Noguchi, a Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) astronaut. Image credit: SpaceX. To learn more about this picture and historic flight please visit: https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/nasa-tv-coverage-set-for-first-crew-rotation-flight-on-us-commercial-spacecraft

“Since, in the long run, every planetary civilization will be endangered by impacts from space, every surviving civilization is obliged to become spacefaring — not because of exploratory or romantic zeal, but for the most practical reason imaginable: staying alive… If our long-term survival is at stake, we have a basic responsibility to our species to venture to other worlds.” Carl Sagan

HEY!! I AM LOOKING AT YOU!! THAT’S WHO!! LOLOLOLOLOL

If you are reading this then you have continued to survive Covid -19 so far!! And so have I!! That is a very, very, very good thing for both of us. Therefore life continues to be good and I cannot complain too much at the moment. Looking at the stats during the first week of November things were not looking good for Covid numbers. The good old USA was adding over 100,000 cases per day. That was way up from 30 days ago when we were at 30 to 40 thousand per day. Wow and not in a good way?! Of course Texas, California and Florida were leading the way again as usual. The numbers nationally on November 7th stood at 10 million total cases with 243 thousand total deaths.

WELCOME TO THE THRID WAVE…

But… by November 20th, we added 200,000 new cases with almost 2000 deaths for a single day! Let me say that again… 200,000 with 2000 deaths for a single day… The national death count total for this date was at 260 thousand since the pandemic began. That comes out to 17 thousand deaths in just 13 days. Unreal. And we were not even to the end of the month yet?!

WELCOME TO THE THIRD WAVE….

Oh well what are you going to do? So much down playing of the virus was done by the ODT and the WH staff… is it any wonder that the numbers are where they are? All of this was predicted back in March by the scientists and public health officials who specialize in epidemiology. The mathematical models were already in place. Once they had the viral parameters and characteristics of Covid it was an easy plot out. Did the politicians at the highest levels listen? Imagine where we would be or not be, if the ODT and his administration had courageously acted as soon as they knew the severity of the virus. And encouraged people to physical distance and wear masks. AND not continue to down play it during the early months?? It’s not rocket science. Maybe they thought they could pray it away? Or maybe it was economics and lives be damned? I don’t know?

“A total disregard for human suffering in the pursuit of profit.”

And trying to explain this to some friends on FB was like trying to talk to a sink full of jelly beans. No one seemed to be listening or they thought it was all some kind of conspiracy. Of course a few did reach out later, after friends or family members became sick with Covid. The sad part is a lot of this could have all been prevented. Or at least delayed long enough to get an experimental vaccine out to the public at large.

WELCOME TO THE THIRD WAVE…

By the time of publishing (November 27th), the number of cases had started to plateau, but at the new numbers of 160,000 to 180,000 cases per day! Way, way up from the the start of October when we were adding just 30 to 40 thousand cases per day. The death count now is over 270,000 individuals. Greater than 30,000 deaths for the month of November! Of course New York was still in the lead, but Texas has been steadily decreasing that difference.

If you are interested in the numbers this is a good website to visit: https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/

The plateau was expected by Thanksgiving and now the big questions. What will the numbers be 2 weeks after turkey day? Somewhere around December 12th. After all those well meaning, “I just have to visit family/friends” people get home. After all the “micro” super-spreader events that will have happened. Where well we be?? Will the health care system be over run? We are very close now. Will people be sent home to either die or get better because the Inn is full? Oh well like I said before, if you are reading this then you have survived so far. And so have I. Hopefully we will both be here at the end of December. Welcome to the third and soon to be fourth wave…

Well on a different note, exercising in the outdoors here on Colorado’s front range during the month of October was a little difficult at best. Especially if you did not want to breath in a ton of particulate matter. Janet and I were pretty good about not doing this, even to the point of limiting the time our dog spent in the outdoors. We both had a few “slightly used” medical grade and construction grade N95 masks to use when exercising and these proved to be invaluable. Particulates from wood smoke, in the less than 2.5 micron range, can penetrate a regular mask. These were left over from various construction projects over the last two years and the first wave of Covid. Who knew that I would end up using them for outdoor exercising. Lol. Crazy year.

An eerily beautiful sunset picture taken from my neighborhood in Fort Collins looing West on October 15th, 2020 at 6pm. The waning smoke plume was from the Cameron Peak fire and in hind sight it would be harbinger of things to come. The East Troublesome fire had just started on October 14 and would go on to burn more than 190, 000 acres with the majority of it taking place over the course of a week.

Again I cannot tell you how grateful I am to the makers of the air quality monitoring equipment called PurpleAir. While it is not super expensive to purchase their equipment for your own personal use, it is still an expense, especially with the increase in prices of just about everything else during the pandemic. The nice part is the company allows you to use their website to see what the quality of the air is in your neighborhood without purchasing a monitor. That is if your neighbors have a monitor. I am lucky where I live in Fort Collins, in that there are numerous air quality monitors that show me what is going on in real time.

This was a screen shot from my phone on October 17th, 2020. It is from the purple air website showing what the particulates were before Marvin and I went out for a walk / run. This was at 1am in the morning. I am a night owl so to speak. Lol. These readings were better than what it had been earlier in the day. For most of October we wore an N-95 masks to lessen the exposure to the wood smoke. And we decreased the time the dog spent outside. Of course I am very thankful that I did not lose my home or any property due to the wildfires. Things can always be worse.

If you have read a few of my most recent blog post then you know that I have talked about this company before. I feel that what they provide is very important in that it gives power to the general public. You are not dependent on a public agency to tell you what quality of air you are breathing. There is power in this fact. When developers, politicians, oil and gas drillers want to build, frack, etc… then you can use the data that you have, to show what the quality is now and if it changes during or after a development. If the quality goes down, you now have the raw data to make a case, to hold those accountable that created the issue. There is tremendous power in this. I am hoping that the company figures out a way to monitor other pollutants in our air besides particulates. Things like methane, nitrous oxide, ozone, etc… Then when that “out of town” developer wants to build the 2000 home mega subdivision and tries to tell you the air quality will not change… You and your neighbors will have the power to say otherwise.

This became our “modus operandi” for going on a walk with the dog due to smoke particulates. It was not until October 26th that the air quality got much better thanks to significant snow in much of Colorado. This picture was taken on October 17th, 2020 at 6:45pm.

Just so that you are aware. I do not get any financial incentive from the PurpleAir company. I do plan to buy a monitor sometime in the next 6 months but other than that there is no other connection. I just like the idea of putting this kind of power and knowledge in the hands of the public. If you interested to know more about the company and their products visit: https://www2.purpleair.com/

This picture was taken on October 22nd, 2020 at 1:45pm in the afternoon. This is looking East from my house in Fort Collins. The picture does not really do justice to the apocalyptical feel to the afternoon light that day. The East Troublesome fire was now at 125,000 acres by that afternoon. The day before it was around 20,000 acres. It “rained” ash along the Front Range for most of the day. Unreal…

Finally, October 25th came and the “reality” in Colorado changed and in a good way. A huge snow storm dropped a boat load of snow in the mountains and on most of the Front Range of Colorado. While not putting the various fires totally out around the state. It did damp them down quit a bit.

And then “just like that” – the fires were significantly diminished. This is a picture from October 26th, 2020, at 2:30am in the morning. I told you I was a night owl. Marin and I had just finished doing some “in-town” cross country skiing! 14 inches had fallen by the next AM. Unreal what a few days can make in Colorado. The fires were not put out but they were significantly diminished giving Fire Fighters a “hands up” on getting them contained.

At the time of publishing most of these fires, the Cameron Peak Fire, the East Troublesome Fire, the Middle Fork Fire, the Calwood Fire, the Williams Fork fire, the Grizzly Creek fire, the Pine Gulch Fire, were all 70 to over 90 percent contained.

If your interested to get more information on these fires and others across the Western US check out this web site: https://inciweb.nwcg.gov/incident/6964/

This picture was taken on October 27th, 2020 at 4:30pm in the afternoon. Marvin and I were out enjoying the sunshine and snow with a trail run . This is from the Poudre River Trail in Fort Collins.

The snow that fell in Fort Collins on the day and night of the 25th / 26th was truly significant. Over 14 inches fell in some places around the city. So much that Marvin and I were able to do a little in town cross country skiing that night, before the city plowed the bike path. If I could change one or two things about where I live and the type of weather it gets, I would turn the average daily temperatures for December, January and February down a few degrees. So that the highs would be consistently right at freezing and below for those months. Then you would be able to convert the city golf courses to temporary cross country ski areas. In my opinion that would be primo! Lol. Of course I am sure there would be a few “golfers” that would bemoan those three months being “out of service” so to speak.

Wow! What a difference from the picture on October 15th – look at the one at the start of this section with the smoke plume. This is the same view at about the same time in the afternoon. Looking West, October 27th, 2020 at 5:45pm. This shot is twelve days later.

The rest of October and most of November were much better in air quality and weather. Of course, the national forest from Rocky Mountain National Park to the Wyoming border have remained closed due to continued fire mitigation and assessment. There are a few trails that are open, but add in the lock downs with Covid and you have to pick and choose when to go due to a significant increase in public visitation. Oh well, again what are you going to do? Hopefully this will all be a bad memory by this time next year.

Before ending this blog post I thought I would include a few pictures of art work that I did over the summer and fall this year. They are all pen and ink, mounted on half inch painted white board, coated and sealed with Mod Podge. They measure 9.25 inches wide and 12.25 inches tall.

HIGH ANXIETY

PORK N CHIEF

STUDY WITH MO

SKITTLES

These are for sale and can be found on my Etsy site: https://www.etsy.com/shop/strugglingprotoplasm/edit?ref=seller-platform-mcnav

Well that is going to be about it for me on this Blog post. On the next one I should have a few more book reviews. I hope you enjoyed the art work. So take care my friends and remember to wash your hands, wear your mask when in crowds or indoors and practice physical distancing. Adios!!

“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous…, leading to the most amazing views.” Edward Abbey

Air Quality, Cameron Peak Fire, Colorado, Covid 19, Dogs, East Troublesome Fire, Exercise, Fort Collins, Life and Meaning, Pandemics, Psychology, PurpleAir, Space, Wildfire

MUSINGS FOR FRIDAY 30th, OCTOBER 2020

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“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.”
― Seth Godin

This is an image that was taken by the Hubble Space telescope and is known as a star-forming nursery called “Free floating Evaporating Gaseous Globules.” It is created when a massive new star starts to shine while still within the cool molecular gas cloud. It’s energetic radiation can ionize the cloud’s hydrogen and create a large, hot bubble of ionized gas. Image credit: ESA/Hubble & Nasa, R. Sahai. To learn more about this image visit: https://www.nasa.gov/image-feature/goddard/2020/hubble-snaps-a-special-stellar-nursery/

“Art is what we call… the thing an artist does. It’s not the medium or the oil or the price or whether it hangs on a wall or you eat it. What matters, what makes it art, is that the person who made it overcame the resistance, ignored the voice of doubt and made something worth making. Something risky. Something human. Art is not in the … eye of the beholder. It’s in the soul of the artist.”
― Seth Godin

This is an image from the International Space Station that was taken back in July 2020. The Nasa space walkers giving a “thumbs up” are Bob Behnken and Chris Cassidy. They were the astronauts on the first manned mission of the SpaceX Crew Dragon spacecraft to fly to the ISS. Image credit: NASA. To learn more about this image visit: https://www.nasa.gov/image-feature/thumbs-up-from-out-of-this-world

“An artist is someone who uses bravery, insight, creativity, and boldness to challenge the status quo. And an artist takes it personally.”
― Seth Godin

This is a picture of Buzz Aldrin carrying two components of the Early Apollo Scientific Experiment Package on the surface of the moon. This was the Apollo 11 mission, 1969. These components were part of a plan to install a small array of mirrors on the moon so that scientists back on earth could use lasers to get a more accurate measurement of the moons shape and the effects of earth’s gravitational pull. Image credit: NASA. To learn more about his image visit: https://www.nasa.gov/image-feature/retroreflectors-from-apollo-to-mars

“The secret to being wrong isn’t to avoid being wrong! The secret is being willing to be wrong. The secret is realizing that wrong isn’t fatal.”
― Seth Godin

This is another picture taken by the Hubble Space Telescope. It is of the globular cluster NGC 1805. This is an image of 1000s of stars located near the edge of the Large Magellanic Cloud galaxy. A satellite galaxy of our own Milky Way. Image Credit: ESA (European Space Agency) To learn more about this image visit: https://www.nasa.gov/image-feature/goddard/2020/hubble-stows-a-pocketful-of-stars

“It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”
― Carl Sagan

This narrow-angle color image of the Earth, dubbed ‘Pale Blue Dot’, is a part of the first ever ‘portrait’ of the solar system taken by the Voyager 1 spacecraft, February 14th, 1990. The spacecraft acquired a total of 60 frames for a mosaic of the solar system from a distance of more than 4 billion miles from Earth and about 32 degrees above the ecliptic. Image credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech. To learn more about this image visit: https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/voyager/multimedia/pia00452.html

HEY!! I AM LOOKING AT YOU!! THAT’S WHO!! LOLOLOLOLOL

If you are reading this then you have survived Covid -19 so far!! And so have I!! That is a very, very, very good thing for both of us. Therefore life continues to be good and I cannot complain too much at the moment. Looking at the numbers during the first week of October, the USA was still adding 30 to over 40 thousand new cases each day. Total deaths were 215,000 with Texas, Florida, and California leading the way. Texas had moved into second place, right above New Jersey, for the highest number of deaths – so far. Just around 16,500. Texas was also right behind California for the most number of cases too. But by the middle of October the numbers had changed and Texas is now leading the nation in total number of cases.

National new case count for October 16th was 71,000 cases in a single day. And this was just the start, by the end of the month we were putting in 60 to over 80 thousand new cases each day. My guess is, this is the start of the third wave. Or maybe, we really have not gone down to zero so is it the third peak? Either way…WOW but not in a good way.

The numbers as of October 29th, 2020, we were over 9 million known cases of Covid, with 234,000 deaths. Unreal! In less than 30 days we have added almost 20,000 new deaths again?! This has been the tally for several months in a row now… Crazy. I am wondering where we will be on December 31st? Oh well, we are in the “churn” now…

If you want to see the numbers yourself check out this link: https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/

When I started writing this post the Cameron Peak Fire was at 125,000 acres. Unfortunately it has continued to burn off and on during the month. We did get a little rain and snow in the mountains around the middle of October which helped. But it was not enough. The winds picked up again and the fire exploded on it Southern Border. Burning to within 5 to 10 miles of Loveland and Fort Collins. In an abundance of caution, and rightly so, the powers that be closed all of the National Forests from the Wyoming border to basically Denver.

This is a picture of a large air tanker dropping fire retardant behind the buildings at the Colorado State University Mountain Campus on October 10th, 2020. By this date the Cameron Peak Fire was just shy of 135,000 acres. Photo credit: NM Engine 964 Crew

The fire is now the largest in state history at 208,000 acres. Even though where I live in Fort Collins was not burning, the air quality has been terrible at times due to the smoke. I cannot tell you how much I have appreciated the use of the real time air quality map provided by Purple Air. If you have not gone to this web site you need to, especially if you play a lot in the outdoors. I do not have my own sensor to monitor air quality yet, but I do plan to buy one later this year. Check out their web site: https://www2.purpleair.com/

This is a picture of the East Troublesome Fire from Oct 16th, 2020. At this point it was only about 11,000 to 12, 000 acres. Image Credit: Unknown

As if the Cameron Peak Fire was not enough, the East Troublesome Fire, which started on October 14th, blew up so to speak on October 22nd and has now burned 192,000 acres West of Rocky Mountain National park. Unfortunately this includes homes that were part of the town of Grand Lake. Both of these fires are the largest in Colorado state history. How crazy is that??

This is a picture of the East Troublesome Fire on Oct 21st, 2020. It is looking North from Cottonwood Pass. At this point the fire was about 20,000 acres. By the end of the next day, things had drastically changed and the fire had jumped to 125,000 acres. Unreal. Image Credit: Andrew Lussie

Oh well what are you going to do? At this point I am not sure what the plan will be for me this winter as far as outdoor activity. I want to take the dog and do some back country skiing but Cameron Pass was my place to go. At least for now it has not burned on the West side of the pass and there are ski trails there too. So as soon as the road reopens later this year that may be my best option without having to drive the I25 / I70 corridor. Or maybe it will be time to head North again, into Wyoming. Of course this is after the Mullen Fire dies back with the arrival of snow. Time will tell. I am hoping that once the smoke clears, the trail running closer to Fort Collins will be doable again by the end of October.

Cameron Peak Fire. This picture was taken on Wednesday, October 14th, 2020 from Boyd Lake between Fort Collins and Loveland. The huge smoke column was created that morning by very high winds in the mountains. I believe the photographer was looking West by North West. Image credit: Unknown

At least we got a great shot of snow and rain over the weekend of the 24th and 25th of October. This did not put the fires out but it did put a significant damper on them. Even if it is only temporary. Mother nature is going to have her way. And with our continued short sighed “nonbelief” in “global warming,” my guess is this is just the tip of the iceberg of what awaits us in the future. I find it incredibly ironic that we have an immense “fusion reactor” in our solar system called the “sun” and we do not make the most of it. Oh but the hubris of humankind.

Cameron Peak Fire. This picture was taken 3 miles east of the Glen Haven Fire Department Friday 16th, October 2020. Image Credit: Unknown

I know that after the fires are put out and the damage assessed there will be a lot of finger pointing and discussion around why this occurred in the first place. In my humble opinion and others, there were a few things that helped to make this fire season a very destructive one. The first thing I think you have to understand is that Colorado had a unpresented infestation of Pine Bark Beetles that started in the mid 1990s. That was caused by 25 years of gradual warming and drought in the mountains. Each year being a little above average in temperature with a gradual decrease in overall moisture. This significantly stressed the trees causing them to become very vulnerable to the beetles. It left millions and millions of dead trees before it ran its course. Fast forward to this year, you have unusually dry conditions along with gusty winds and the dead trees. Voila -there you have it. A recipe for disaster… A good link to read more about this: https://storymaps.arcgis.com/collections/21fd50c4ef904bb0a6ad7d1c514417c5?item=1 It is a very good article helping to explain why Colorado “burned.”

On a positive note, this is a picture from the Roaring Creek trail area, in the Poudre Canyon. It is showing new growth since burning in the Cameron Peak fire about one and a half months ago. Incredible to think the fire has been burning now for almost three months. Image Credit : Evan Burks

The thing to remember is that this is not just a Colorado problem but a North American problem due to a warming and dryer environment in the Western US. The second part of the fire issue for Colorado and other parts of the country is that you have a lot more people moving into areas that did not have permanent human habitation until recently. Think last 30 years. And some of these areas burn ever so often as part of the natural ecology of the forest. Even without the global warming and drought.

Of course there are others reasons, but I think these two are the big ones. Neither one has an easy solution. My guess is if you are going to continue to live in these areas, especially now that CO2 levels have skyrocketed, you might as well expect it and plan for it.

If you want to learn more about the Cameron Peak fire and the East Troublesome Fire check out this web site: https://inciweb.nwcg.gov/

Well on to other things. Enough of Covid and Forest fires. Time for something better. Besides writing a blog, I have been writing a personal journal consistently now for almost 9 years. November 1st, 2020 will be that anniversary and what an inner journey it has been. By consistently I mean “every day” without fail. Some days it is only half of a page, on other days it is more than three pages. I used to think that I would run out of stuff to write about, but that has not been the case. If anything the list of topics has become more diverse. I found, I had to get “through” some of the superficial stuff, before I could get to the deeper substance. My journal is one that will never be read except by me so all the topics are fair game. Nothing is held sacred. Nothing is held back. It is a writing that is an exploration of the “self.” Good things as well as all the bad. Especially all the bad, everything the lizard brain has to say, but does not want to say it. And some days it scares me.

This picture was taken Sunday 13th, September 2020, at 8pm. A lot of exercise for Janet and I in September was walking in the neighborhood during the late afternoon and evening. This night the air quality was good enough to not have to wear a mask. Our usual plan was to not wear an N-95 mask as long as the AQI (Air Quality Index) was below 100.

In keeping the journal, I have learned more about myself than I knew was possible. Some topics were incredibly difficult to write about. Even though I knew no one would read it. Other times it was just the surface stuff for the coming day at hand. Things that I wanted to remind myself of needing to get done but were not all that pressing. One of the surprising realizations that became apparent over the years were “subjects” that I thought I had covered ad nauseam, would suddenly pop back up without warning showing even deeper layers of meaning. Like fractal geometry the patterns just continued to repeat. Out of all of this, there were a few truths that I have learned. And I would like to share a few with you.

This picture was taken Monday 14th, September 2020, at 7pm. Marvin with a stick on the Poudre River. Here I am looking West by North West. The AQI was down in the 50 range, so no mask was required. You can see the haze from the fire in background. There were a lot of days in the month of September that looked just like this and worse.

Number one: Anger. We have all experienced it in the present, but some of us have a lot of it “stored” from our past. Matter of fact if you are someone that gets angry very easily, then I would hazard a guess to say that you probably have some repressed anger. That was my experience and until I faced issues from the past, it drove my life at times. It was miserable for me and those around me. It is a wonder that more of us do not have criminal records because of an anger issue. Lol. When I started to journal I would not have thought that anger would keep coming up like it did. Over and over again and again. It got so bad at times I would have to stop writing, take a break, and come back to it. Or I would finish a section of writing and reread it and think “where the hell did that come from?” Lol. It can even be a little scary, but no worries, that is why the “journal no one reads but you” is such a great tool. It allows the exploration of deep seated anger without the fear that people will just not understand your feelings. And your right, they would not understand because it is personnel to you. Henceforth the “journal that no one reads” but you. I found that my anger had become like supple leather gloves or a cloak, so smooth, so soft that I did not know I had them on. It was the journaling that helped me to peal layer, after layer, after layer off. Sometimes it was very painful, like pealing off an old scab, but so freeing once it was gone. The journaling can provide a safe but extremely powerful catharsis when dealing with repressed emotions like anger.

This picture was taken September 23rd, 2020 at about 7:30pm. Marvin had just gotten back from a long walk and the cat was in the mood to play. I find it amazing that he is so gentle with the cat and the cat does not appear to be afraid in the least.

Number two: “You have all that you need.” When you get right down to it most of us have all that we need. Let me say that again. We have all that we need. Especially in a first world country like the USA. I have found that I have to remind myself of this everyday. Especially with all the adds from TV, the internet, magazines, newspaper, catalogs, etc… We live in a very consumeristic society. There is always someone out there that is trying to get you to buy “more” stuff. The adds are selling “dissatisfaction” and “desire” at the same time. If you have never been to a large active landfill it is worth a trip to see the mounds and mounds of “stuff” that was once some ones desire and now their dissatisfaction. I could make this one truth the topic of several blog post, but I will leave it for now with one quote and a link to the Minimalist web site: https://www.theminimalists.com/

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” – Will Rogers

This picture was taken September 26th, 2020 at about 1am. It was a beautiful early morning with the moon dropping over the western horizon. This is Lake Sherwood in my neighborhood.

Number Three: “The things that we fear the most are the things that we most need to do.” Be honest with yourself, how many times have you not tried something because you fear it, for whatever reason. The fear of failure, the fear of not being able to handle it, the fear of loss, the fear of losing control, the fear of rejection, the fear of death, etc… All the “what ifs” that your mind can come up with. While journaling I was able to explore my fears and why I had them. It is not a quick fix, but over time I found, just like with anger, there were layers. The writing let me explore and peal off those layers one at a time.

“Do the thing you fear the most and the death of fear is certain.” – Mark Twain

During this process of writing I came to the realization that the essential cause of our suffering, anxiety and fear is ignorance of the nature of reality, and our need for craving and clinging to illusion.

The reality is we are all going to die at some point. The illusion is that it will never happen to me. Death is an inevitable outcome. It will not matter what clothing you wear. Who your parents were. What car you drive. What schools you attended. How much money you made. What mythology you worshiped. We are going to lose every thing that we have ever loved, hated, owned or desired. Nothing is here to stay, not even the earth beneath your feet. And once you understand this realization fully, at your core, the illusion is shattered and your perception changes.

This picture was taken September 27th, 2020 at about 8pm. It was starting to get a little colder…

I would like to think that I have conquered all my fears but that would be telling myself and you dear reader a lie. After all, we are all here, on this earth, at this time, because our ancestors going back a few million years were very good at survival. And they were very good at survival because of their lizard brain. I work with my lizard brain on this subject every single day. Lol.

This realization on death and fear felt as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Or that is how it was with me and writing helped me to come to this realization. Let me be clear, danger is very, very real. But the fear is a choice, consciously or unconsciously. It is all in our minds based on our thoughts and feelings about events that may or may not ever happen. The lizard brain trying to keep you safe anyway it can.

“We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.” – Charles Bukowski

All right, that is about it for me on this Blog Post. I have more “truths” that have come out of the journaling but I will save them for another day. On the next blog I will try to have a few more book reviews and such.

One last thing before I go about fear. I am not talking about true phobias, but ordinary fears. If you have a true phobia, journaling can help but it is not a substitute for professional guidance.

So take care my friends and remember to wash your hands, wear your mask when in crowds or indoors and practice physical distancing. AND VOTE like your life depends on it. Because it probably does… Adios!!

“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous…, leading to the most amazing views.” Edward Abbey